DIVORCE AND THE HOME: NO REFUGE

The loss of the feeling of home is one of the most shattering effects of divorce, according to University of New South Wales researcher Dr Susan Thompson.

Following a series of intensive discussions with people whose relationships had ended Dr Thompson, a lecturer in the Faculty of Built Environment, was able to compare feelings about their home, the change in their perception as their marriage or relationship collapses, the struggle over the division of the family home and the development of new feelings of home.


"Home, meaning the house, the neighbourhood and the feeling of belonging, is the centre of our lives. I know from my own experience, that losing the feeling of home is devastating, the physical implications far-reaching and the psychological impact significant. I wanted to find out if my experience was representative," she said.

"I found that, for many people, the end of the relationship was accompanied by feelings of guilt for shattering the home. There is a symbolic element as well, which is mirrored in the ways that the physical space is used to negotiate power imbalances, re-establish another life, maintain continuity for children, and as a bargaining tool to redress intense anger and frustration," Dr Thompson said.

"Once there is an acknowledgment that the relationship is over, there is a transitional phase when new meanings of home emerge. Organising parenting arrangements, dividing possessions and tentative steps towards the establishment of another life characterise this phase."

According to Dr Thompson moving out of the family home can mean isolation and loneliness, as well as fear of an empty and uninhabitable space. However her research has found that remaining in the family home can be just as traumatic. "The experience of remaining in the home demands the same degree of change. Although the place is familiar, living alone is not. There is also a period of reclaiming the house when many people redecorate in order to help themselves create new, separate memories," she said.

Reassuringly Dr Thompson's research has revealed a light at the end of the tunnel. "Eventually feelings of home begin to mirror a new life. Feelings of liberation are entwined with meanings of home as spaces are decorated afresh, and in some cases, a true home founded for the first time," she said.

CONTACT DETAILS: Dr Susan Thompson, Faculty of Built Environment, tel. 9385 5295 or Victoria Collins, Public Affairs and Development, tel. 9385 3644.