The infamous group project. There’s no doubt that when it comes to this horror of an assessment – it’s as bad as it gets. We’ve all been there, it’s no fun. And if you’re reading this wondering why you’ve never come across something quite so terrible, well… I have some bad news for you. You’re THAT person.
An impromptu little survey of different students (across various years and degrees) revealed this gem of a guide to all possible archetypes of group project people. Here’s some of the highlights:
1. The One Who’s Always “Busy”
9am, 7pm, midday, midnight – this one’s always occupied. Try your best to get something out of them – you probably won’t succeed. The most notable story about the “busy” one was a group mate who missed every single meeting and consistently made the poorest excuses. One was along the lines of:
“Sorry guys I’m unavailable for the group meeting at 5pm, I have a doctor’s appointment”
…only to be seen at Roundhouse Happy Hour at 5pm. Hah. Didn’t know they have doctors there?!
2. The Campus Kid
If trekking 1hr+ to get to uni isn’t bad enough, there’s always that one group mate who lives on campus and has to remind everyone about it every day:
“Lol sorry just woke up I’m running late by a few mins”.
More like 30 minutes.
3. The Snob
There’s nothing worse than being in the same group as the self-proclaimed Royal Highness the Duke/Duchess of UNSW.
“Let me just stop you right there- “
“This assignment is like, so not my thing”
“I only drink coffee from Penny Lane so let’s meet there instead”
One student recalled a group mate who thought the group lab report was too easy so left it till the night before, only to then scramble for the answers last minute:
“Hey guys can you send me your answers so we can just all be on the same page”.
4. The One Who Goes MIA Until Submission Day
One second year Architecture student recalled a group mate who ‘Randomly went MIA after Week 1 till submission day’. And if that isn’t bad enough, they followed their unexplainable disappearance with this heartfelt message to the group chat:
“Hey guys can you add my name to the assignment lol”
To begin with, it’d be helpful to actually know their name.
5. The Confused One
“When is this thing due again?”
“I got 103% for the probability question”
“I thought this was optional”
“Wrong number sorry”
Need I say more?
6. The Brainiac
a.k.a the one who actually does the assignment.
This one is the best. Bless the Brainiac. These poor people are the ones who stay up till ungodly hours carrying the load of the entire group.
“Can everyone do their part by Wednesday night so I have time to rewrite it all by Thursday?”
Sound familiar? These people are just a few of many! But hopefully the next time you’re mourning over a dreadful group project, you’ll know you’re not alone. And who knows, you might just be the Brainiac!